Last night when we came home from church Grace was burning up and I took her temperature and found out that she had a 102 fever. Needless to say we were up all night with our sweet girl.
There's nothing more difficult than trying to comfort your child when they are ill and not being able to do much at all. It makes you feel so helpless and sometimes it so frustrated that you can't do anything to make them feel better.
Sometimes during tough nights it's easy to get selfish and frustrated when you are exhausted and suffering from lack of sleep. But when your baby is really sick and all they want is to snuggle with you, then somehow it's hard to be "upset" or "selfish." It really puts things into perspective and humbles you.
As I lie awake with a sleeping baby lying on me I couldn't help but think about my mother. In times like these I remember all the times when I was sick as a child and my mother never failed to come and take care of us either to: give us our medicine at the directed times, put a cool rag on our head, rub our backs, or hold our hair when we were nauseous. I never saw resentment, annoyance, frustration, or selfishness in her eyes or the way she took care of us and comforted us. I knew I could always count on mom to make it better or at least do her best to.
As I think about the way my mom took care of us and just her overall attitude and character, I can't help but contemplate on my own attitudes and what I strive to be like. I want desperately for my daughter to feel the way I did about always being able to count mom and never thinking I was an inconvenience or an annoyance.
I'm still learning this mom thing. Whoever said it just comes easily was apparently not a parent. Lately I've realized some areas in which I need to work on. I need to remember that it's not all about me. That my responsibilities and priorities changed when I had a child, a child of whom I adore with all my heart. I love that sweet girl, and when I think about the times when I have a selfish attitude it breaks my heart.
I think God must feel that way sometimes.
We as His children are constantly grieving Him and breaking His heart.
We are selfish, arrogant, prideful, rude, controlling, and sometimes just plain mean.
He is the Ultimate Parent.
He is our Father who loves us unconditionally, who never tires of comforting us, never tires sitting with us all night until the pain is gone, will always be on time with what we need, and with whom we know we can always count on. Our trust should be in Him and we should strive to be like the Ultimate Parent.
I am reminded of that lately through some long nights. I strive to be Christlike, to be the parent God wants/needs me to be. I pray that we all strive to be Christlike in whatever situations or relationships we may be in. I pray that all my sleepless nights bring such revelation.
