Let me start by saying I know what time it is and I do know it's crazy that I'm up this late when I have two very little ones who may or may not sleep well and will probably be up super early in the morning. I however, needed some time. Some time for just me. The only time I get to have some peace and quiet is night after both girls have gone to bed and then, well, usually it's time for me to head that way myself.
I was uploading tons of pictures off my phone tonight and couldn't help taking a trip down memory lane as each picture uploaded and the thumbnails each flash by on my laptop screen loading window. Seeing pictures of both my girls at various ages during different milestones/developmental times. Sometimes it feels like I have blinked and my babies just changed over night. :( I know...I know that is what "old" people say, but there is something about having children that really makes you see how quickly time does pass by and how precious each moment really truly is. I wish my babies didn't have to grow up...:/ ..I say this while they are sleeping now. ;)
But seriously though, I turn the big 3-0 this year and I suppose it's not that big of a deal, but the other day I was thinking about when I turned 20 and thought, "Wow...that was not that long ago, was it?" Good memories, good times. Why must we try to rush through things so much?
Today and well this week marks an anniversary of a rough time...as I sit here tonight I try not to harp on the past and what was, but can't help but think of what happened and what could have been. So much sadness and pain happened. My heart breaks a little more just thinking about everything. I shouldn't worry about the past and other people's choices, but can't help but let myself be affected and have feelings of loss and grief and confusion.
Growing up is hard. I've come to realize you never really stop growing up and it never really gets easier. It actually gets harder. Each year comes with it's new challenges, struggles, and hurdles, but hopefully you come out a stronger person inside and out. These challenges have a way of revealing who you really are closest to and whom you can depend on. I'm truly blessed to have some very close friends and family member of which I can rely and depend.
I sit here and realize I've lost my train of thought and that is my cue to head to bed my friends. All in all it was a night of reflection for me as many of these posts tend to be. If anyone reads this I hope that it is not too confusing or boring. Goodnight all. I hope this night brings you some peaceful rest and that the morning brings you clarity and a refreshed mind. May God bless you. Until next time.
